Are we still friends? The power of neglect

Friends forever? Remember your relationships 

'Are we still friends?' The words of my good friend, following my first couple of weeks of teaching, were a stark reminder of the cost and sacrifice of my teacher training. I knew that the year would inevitably impact me, but I didn't consider the impact that it would have on those around me. Going into September, I was thankful for my singleness, as I knew that I'd be a terrible girlfriend. I'm totally in awe of anyone who manages to juggle teacher training and family life. They truly are superheroes. Thankfully, I was living alone, and I didn't have to worry about dragging any housemates into my stress.  

I always knew that the year would completely take over my life, but I didn't think that my friends would be caught in the tailwind. Friends that I regularly called, WhatsApped and visited were now acutely aware of the change in my communication and visits. The void was felt, and they were sadly suffering as a result.

Neglecting my friends happened completely accidentally. I was on a rapidly inclining treadmill, and the stop button wasn't going to be pressed any time soon. Time was moving faster than it ever had before, and life felt like a confusing puzzle with lots of awkward pieces. It wasn't like I'd taken up a new hobby or substituted my friends for a new group of teacher friends. I was simply teaching, training, planning and writing essays.

Before anyone begins teacher training, I strongly recommend that they make their friends aware of what they're getting into. Those nearest and dearest need to know about the workload and pressures that their friend or loved one might be facing. The year completely dominates, and a trainee needs a friend to rant to and a shoulder to cry on. The biggest thing they'll need is support.

Sadly, trainee teachers are forced to temporarily step down from being rampant social butterflies. Although I couldn't be at every Thursday night social, well-timed socials were a welcome relief from all things teaching and learning. Letting loose and enjoying myself felt even more blissful and well-deserved.

Even though trainees need to work at weekends and during the holidays (those pesky assignments), it's important to purposefully make time to spend time with friends and loved ones. You don't want to completely disappear for a year and then play catch up in the summer holidays. You'll miss out on so much and run the risk of people moving on without you. A planned FaceTime, a virtual coffee or a WhatsApp chat are all manageable, even for the busiest of folk. They might not beat a face-to-face, but they're still valuable activities for maintaining relationships.

The school year flew by for me, and it was seriously the quickest year of my life. It's good to know that any stress and chaos are only temporary, and there's a huge light at the end of the tunnel :). Remember, a problem shared is a problem halved, and no man should be an island. Anyway, there's lots to consider and think about here. My advice is to maintain your friendships and enjoy the odd socials :).